


runaway.

by fricklefracklefloof



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut, Running Away, freshman year rich!, have to please those rabid boyf fans, i haven't written a fic in a while sorry if this sucks, i'll still have a little bit of gay content though i promise, jere's mom is problematic, takes place before jere's mom leaves!, they're probably freshman in this, this isn't really romantic sorry, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-07 06:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18867790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fricklefracklefloof/pseuds/fricklefracklefloof
Summary: Jeremy can't stop running away from the people he loves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is wEIRD i haven't written a fic in a long time and even though i agonized over this months idk if it's great yet so uh h h yell at me if you want  
> ALSO! tw for implied suicide mention!! (this chapter only)

The fight wasn’t that bad at first. Jeremy could handle it.

He was in his room when the shouting started downstairs, gripping his controller tightly to keep from shaking as he struggled to focus on the game he was playing. Jeremy ignored the stuttering in his heart as it began to race. He wasn’t going to let it bother him, he wasn’t. He wasn’t going to let his parents’ squabbles ruin his life, even if his heart was beating faster than usual and his palms were beginning to sweat and his body was starting to tremble- he wasn’t.

 About a half an hour passed, and they were still arguing. It felt like an eternity. Jeremy couldn’t even remember what game he was playing as he stared blankly at the colors flashing across the screen. He tried to take deep breaths, something to loosen that tightness in his chest. He tried to distract himself, to focus on the game.

 It wasn’t working very well.

  _It’ll end soon. It has to end soon,_ he told himself. _Please end. Please stop._

 He thought he was doing pretty good, considering how long they’d been fighting, until the subject switched to him.

 “...and not to mention the way you treated _Jeremy!_ ” he’d heard his father shout.

  _Oh god oh god oh my god they’re talking about_ me.

 Jeremy felt like he was going to throw up.

 “Treated him like what? Don’t tell me how to raise my son,” his mother had practically spat, as if his father wasn’t part of the process of raising him.

 “He’s _our_ son. I should get a say in this too.”

 Jeremy shut off the TV.

  _This is my fault. This is all my fault. They wouldn’t be fighting if it weren’t for me._ Hot tears trickled down his cheeks. Trying to hold it all back, Jeremy let out a pitiful noise, choking down a sob. He was such a mess. His mother wouldn’t be so upset if he wasn’t so goddamn pathetic. He didn’t deserve his father’s concern.

 Breaths labored and shaky, Jeremy leaned forward and hugged his trembling knees, his clothing wet from tears. He couldn’t listen to this, but the shouts were loud and sporadic and wouldn’t leave him alone. His stomach lurched each time they mentioned his name. He just wanted to crawl into a hole where he could hide forever and no one would remember him.

  _I should have never been born. I don’t deserve to live I’m ruining their relationship I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to them._

 The shouts just felt like they were growing louder and louder. Jeremy attempted to cover his ears, unable to listen. No matter how hard he tried, his shaking hands wouldn’t move the way he wanted. Nothing he did could help him escape this.

 He had to get out of here. He didn’t feel safe in this place anymore, not when his parents were like _this._ They probably didn’t want him here anyway.

  _Get out get out get out get out._ He heard his mother scream again and Jeremy stumbled to his feet, breathing heavily. He couldn’t stand to stay in here any longer, but leaving his room was not an option. His parents would see him racing out the door.

 Jeremy’s eyes flitted to the window. _There._ Without hardly any other thought, he lifted it open and scrambled outside. His house had only one story, so it wasn’t like he was going to break his legs falling from a great height.

 The cold night air hit him like a slap. Jeremy hesitated for a split second, shaken by the sudden change in temperature, but he kept going, running full speed out into the streets. At first he was a bit afraid his parents would see him racing past the window or something, but Jeremy was sure they were too engrossed in their argument to notice. This was probably for the best, anyway.

 He ran in a strange way at first, moving in an almost zigzag-like motion and straying out into the (thankfully empty) street before somehow instinctively moving to the sidewalk, having no destination in mind. He was just running, running away from all of this. Anything to just get away.

 The lights lining the streets provided ample light for Jeremy to see, but occasionally he’d run into a darker area where it was much more difficult to tell where he was going. Being someone who still sometimes slept with a nightlight on, it was a bit terrifying. But he kept running. He had to keep running.

 Eventually, after going for who knows how long, his chest began to burn and Jeremy felt his strides become more sluggish, finding it increasingly more difficult to take each step. Trying to fight all of his tired muscles to keep moving, he stumbled, knees scraping the ground.

 Tears pricked his eyes as Jeremy felt the sudden sting of his wounds. God, he was so pathetic.

 Gasping for air, Jeremy slowly lifted himself off the ground, wondering what he was going to do next. Keep running, he assumed. He didn’t know where he would go, but surely if he kept running away everything would be fine.

 Wait, where even was he?

 Jeremy glanced around the quiet neighborhood, taking in his surroundings, which, as he kept looking, actually seemed sort of… familiar.

 He took a sharp breath. This was… Michael’s neighborhood, wasn’t it?

 And of course he was standing right in front of his best friend’s house.

 Well, that sort of made sense. Even if Jeremy really had no sort of destination in mind when he was running, he must have just instinctively found his way to Michael’s house eventually, since he’d walked there so many times before, and he didn’t live too far away.

 He started to take a step towards the front door but hesitated. God, he really desperately wanted to go inside - it was warm, Michael would be there to comfort him, and his moms had probably made something delicious for dinner. But he knew he’d probably just be a bother. Jeremy was not about to literally invite himself into their house without warning as a sobbing, shaking mess that they’d have to deal with. Michael’s moms were the type to literally fawn over him constantly anyway, and Jeremy definitely didn’t want that.

 Maybe if he’d texted Michael earlier about it. But - wait - he hadn’t brought his phone with him, of course. Jeremy had just blindly jumped out the window like the terrified dumbass he was.

 Well, apparently he just had to keep going. Summoning the strength he barely had remaining, Jeremy began to jog away, forcing himself not to look longingly back at the house which held so much comfort to him. He couldn’t stay here any longer, not when he risked being seen if anyone looked out the window. He didn’t want Michael’s family to see him loitering so helplessly around the place.

 “Jeremy?”

 He stopped. Fuck, he knew exactly whose voice that belonged to. Maybe if he just kept running…? But Jeremy suddenly felt himself wobbling on his feet, hardly able to even keep himself upright. God, this was the wrong time to feel so heavy and exhausted.

 He could hear footsteps growing closer. “What are you doing out here?”

 Jeremy finally turned around, staring straight into Michael’s concerned face. “Oh, um… just going for a r-run, y’know…” _Totally didn’t hang around your house for a couple seconds debating whether I wanted to barge in there like a complete asshole._

 "Out here in the cold? You’re shaking, dude, why aren’t you wearing something warmer… wait, are you crying?”

If it was cold, Jeremy didn’t notice. He felt like a hot, sweaty mess, and he could feel his face growing warmer at the sight of Michael. He shouldn’t be here. This wasn’t supposed to happen. If he had left earlier…

 “N-no, I’m not…” No, this was not supposed to happen. Fuck. No. Go back. Jeremy’s vision blurred and oh god his face was wet and his eyes were stinging and _why was Michael getting closer_ he had to get away get away-

 “Hey. Hey, come inside with me. It’s warm, you can tell me all about what happened,” he heard his friend’s soothing voice reassure him, and Jeremy reluctantly nodded as he practically fell into Michael’s embrace. Holding onto him tightly, he staggered inside.

 Michael quickly escorted Jeremy back to his room, through a thankfully empty house (Michael explained that his moms weren’t here at the moment - he was home alone) and he immediately collapsed onto his bed and didn’t look up. Michael thankfully said nothing about whatever occurred a few minutes ago, just sat down next to him and let him calm down. He wasn’t exactly a licensed therapist or anything, but Jeremy felt his mere presence soothing.

 After a while Jeremy finally felt slightly more in control of himself, though there was still that nagging tightness in his chest that reminded him of what awaited him back home. Jeremy tried to ignore that. He sat up as Michael smiled at him, pulling him into a gentle hug.

 Michael’s embrace was warm and comforting, and though the two of them hardly said a word Jeremy had never felt more at peace. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, and Jeremy wanted to stay there forever.

 They stayed like that for a minute before both of them finally pulled away, Jeremy still feeling slightly insecure. “Shit- I’m sorry for suddenly appearing in front of your h-house like that, I just-”

 Michael lifted a finger. “Shh. You don’t need to explain right now. When you’re ready.”

 Jeremy gave a small nod, still feeling a little guilty as Michael smiled and stood up. “Okay. Um. Whaddya wanna do now? We could play a little Mario Kart or something, take your mind off things… or do you need anything? You must be exhausted. Have you eaten yet?”

 Jeremy almost laughed. Michael was acting like his mom again. Always trying to make others happy. “...Actually, no, I don’t think so,” he responded, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. That was weird - oh, right. His mom had been planning on making dinner but then that… whole argument happened. Jeremy wondered if she ever got around to it. Were they done arguing already? Oh, god, had they noticed he was gone?

 Michael nodded. “I’ll get you something. I think we have some leftover chicken adobo my moms cooked last night,” he said, smiling, then left.

 That was awfully worrying, though. Jeremy felt that familiar tightness in his chest as his heart began to race. Should he go back? Maybe he shouldn’t be here. Maybe… maybe he needed to keep running. God, why did he stop? _Stupid. You can’t stay in one place. This is where anyone would expect you to be._

 He stared at the door. But Michael was bringing back food, and maybe he could hang out with him for a little bit… god, staying with his best friend instead would be nice, wouldn’t it?

  _But I really don’t want to rope him into this._

 Jeremy had one leg out the window when Michael came back.

 When Jeremy whipped his head around to look at Michael in surprise after he asked what the fuck he was doing, he didn’t like the expression on his friend’s face. He almost looked… concerned.

 It was something he didn’t see often, and something he didn’t want to see again.

 “I… I don’t… I was… y’know, thinking I should…”

 Michael stared at him. Were those tears forming in his eyes? “W-were you…” There was an awful tremor in his voice, another thing Jeremy didn’t hear often.

 Oh god. He didn’t think…

 “N-no, no, no, I wasn’t… of course not, I… I’m sorry.”

 He looked down awkwardly, guilt pooling in his stomach. This was wrong. He shouldn’t have done that, Michael wasn’t supposed to see, Michael wasn’t supposed to know…

 Michael wasn’t supposed to worry.

  _Now you’ve roped him into this. Now he’s concerned for you, thinks you’re suicidal or something…_

 His friend just nodded slightly and handed Jeremy the plate of food, which he’d almost forgotten about. God, this was awkward. He just wanted to leave, but at this point Michael probably wouldn’t let him.

 Jeremy sat and practically forced the food down his throat, painfully aware of how Michael was watching his every move. He probably would have even enjoyed it—Jeremy loved Michael’s moms’ cooking, and chicken adobo was his favorite—but he felt way too tense here. Nothing felt right. He didn’t even have an appetite anymore. This was wrong, all wrong, and he needed to leave.

 Michael wordlessly took the plate from him when Jeremy finally finished, setting it down on his desk. _He’s not going to leave anytime soon._

  _U_ _gh._ Now he suddenly was so distrustful of Jeremy that he couldn’t even leave for a second? _It’s not a big deal! I wasn’t going to do anything! Doesn’t he believe me?_

 This was so, so awkward. Jeremy could feel Michael stealing glances at him every so often, like he was wondering what he’d do next. _Can’t he at least say something? I don’t like him staring at me all concerned and stuff. It’s… weird._ Jeremy thought it was sweet of Michael to worry, but he didn’t like this. This… this _thing_ , this moment, or whatever, felt painful, and awkward, and confusing, and full of all kinds of other strange emotions that give you that headache you get sometimes when you’re scrunching up your face to hold back tears.

 He hadn’t felt this much tension between Michael in a long time.

 “What were you _doing?”_ Michael whispered.

 Jeremy looked up at him in surprise, grateful that he finally spoke.

 “I-I just don’t understand. I...I don’t usually like to pry, dude, not until you’re ready, but what’s going on?” he breathed, not making eye contact with Jeremy. “You don’t usually lie to me, but… I don’t know what you were doing earlier. This is really weird, man. I’m just… kinda worried for you.”

 Jeremy felt horrible. This was all his fault. He was putting all this stuff on Michael, stressing him out with problems that weren’t his own. This wasn’t right.

 “I was trying to leave.”

 Michael looked at him strangely. “What?”

 “I-I dunno, I just felt like I had to leave. I got this w-weird impulse.” A lot like… how he felt when I ran away from home. He really didn’t want to elaborate. Might just make things worse.

 Michael narrowed his eyes, obviously still suspicious, but dropped the subject. “Okay…” At least he didn’t seem as worried anymore. “God, I’m exhausted. You wanna stay over? You can borrow anything you need, I have a sleeping bag and stuff…”

 Jeremy didn’t want to stay over. He wanted to get out of this place, but it didn’t seem like Michael was really going to let him leave. Not like he had much of a choice anyway—he had absolutely no intention of going home, not now—and he really didn’t have anywhere else to go. As terrible as it was to stay here, it was more terrifying thinking about where else he’d sleep. On the streets? Jeremy really hadn’t thought any of this through, at all.

 He was going to have to go home eventually.

 But he didn’t have to think about that.

 “Yeah, I’ll stay over.”

 For now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is shORT I'M SORRY I ALWAYS WRITE A LOT EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO ACTUAL WRITING

You know that blissful moment when you wake up in the morning and for a second, you forget all the shit that’s been on your mind for who knows how long?

Jeremy felt that. It felt wonderful.

Until about ten seconds later when everything all came crashing down on him.

The first thought that came running to greet him was that good old impulse again, that odd nagging sensation that told him,  _ Hey! You have to get out of here! Because you’re a dumbass and nobody wants you around, so please leave! Immediately! _

In hindsight, it probably would have been a great idea to stay put, especially since Michael would definitely wake up to find Jeremy gone and freak out. But for some reason Jeremy had this terrible habit of not thinking twice about the dumb shit he was doing, and  _ Michael was still asleep and would never even notice him rushing out the door _ , which only gave him more reason to leave. It’d be easy to just run away again and scare everyone who cared about him, so why not?

It was actually a pretty nice day outside. 

Jeremy tried to ignore the slight chill that made him wish he hadn’t left his sweater all the way back home, but other than that he almost felt like skipping along the sidewalk. The sun had just barely reached its place in the sky where it could amply cover the world around him with enough light. Jeremy thought it was beautiful. It was around that time where it was late enough in the morning for it to look like it was daytime outside, but early enough that nobody in their right weekend minds would wake up at this time. It made Jeremy feel like he was the only person in the world.

He’d always had this weird habit of waking up early. Jeremy wasn’t sure why—he valued quality sleep just as much as the next person—but once he began to rise from the clutches of sleep, he couldn’t go back again. “Five more minutes, Mom,” never applied to him, because he simply couldn’t give himself five more minutes. Maybe it was because he was too quickly attacked with all kinds of worried thoughts when he began to wake up in the morning. Maybe it was simply just because he was used to waking up early for school.

Jeremy never minded it much, though. He loved that short amount of time when he just had the morning to himself on the weekends, when everyone else was asleep. Even Michael never woke up as early as he did—Jeremy loved being around him, but it was nice to have that time to himself during sleepovers.

Oh god. Michael.

Speak of the devil. Jeremy was just about to look around and see how far away he was from Michael’s house when he suddenly heard footsteps echoing behind him (thankfully quite far away from the sound of it, but it was quiet in his neighborhood and that was all Jeremy could hear at the moment).

He could hear Michael calling desperately for him, but Jeremy didn’t even look back. He just started running.

_ Stupid stupid stupid.  _ He’d been given that lovely chance to get a headstart, why didn’t he take it? Jeremy felt like he must have not been thinking properly.

He could hear the thudding of footsteps behind him still, and Jeremy quickened his pace. Why couldn’t he lose Michael? He had to get away,  _ get away. Stop following me! Please, oh god, give up, give up. You don’t need me anyway. _

No matter how many turns he took, how many frantic strides he took in a desperate effort to just get away from his chaser, the thudding just wouldn’t leave him. It was everywhere. Each footstep seemed to shake his body, a constant reminder that Michael was always there, even if Jeremy couldn’t even hear him calling for him anymore.

He could feel hot tears running quickly down his cheeks. Jeremy just wanted to be rid of Michael, then he never had to bother him with his problems.  _ Why are you like this? Why do you want to  _ help me _ so bad? _

The thudding only seemed to grow louder, as if his friend was catching up to him, growing closer and closer. Jeremy felt sluggish, too slow. He tried to will himself to run even faster, taking greedy, desperate breaths in an attempt to stay ahead.

Michael’s stubborn silence was almost infuriating.  _ Just leave! Stop following me! _

Finally he couldn’t stand it anymore. Whipping around in a tearful frenzy, he faced his best friend behind him.

“Stop following me! I-I don’t want you to… to…”

No one was there.

Jeremy looked around in confusion, almost chuckling nervously. No. No way. Michael had to be here somewhere, he was right behind him, wasn’t he? The footsteps… the horrible thudding racking his body… it was still there.

But Michael was quite obviously not anywhere near Jeremy, not even close. He must have lost him a long time ago. Which meant the thudding was… oh god.

The thudding was his own heart.

_ You’re insane. You’re absolutely insane, imagining all kinds of terrifying things. You’re choking on your own fear. _

_ You’re fucking weak. _

A flash of a memory from last night flitted before his eyes, triggering a massive feeling of déjà vu. Hadn’t this happened before? Jeremy was scared again, scared of the people he loved. So he did what his instincts told him to do—he ran. He ran, and ran, until he stopped, until he grew so exhausted someone had to help him. And now he was scared of them again, so scared that he felt he had to run again.

Would the cycle keep repeating itself? Jeremy didn’t have many friends. There was no one, absolutely no one else to turn to.

No one else to run away from again.

That was a good thing, though, Jeremy thought. He didn’t deserve to be around his parents—why else would they be fighting? Surely he was the cause. He didn’t deserve to be around Michael—he couldn’t dump his problems on him. Michael didn’t need a burden like him.

But where would he go? Oh, god, where  _ would  _ he go?

With a sickening feeling Jeremy realized had no idea where he was. He knew this town pretty well, and was sure he couldn’t have run too far away from where he lived, but since he couldn’t drive yet he was still pretty terrible at navigating… anywhere.

Which basically meant he was lost. And he had absolutely no one else to run to.

Why did this bother him? Why did he feel like sobbing uncontrollably? Shouldn’t Jeremy be happy he was separated from the people he bothered so much?

_ I don’t want to be alone! _

_ But it’s what you deserve. _

Jeremy hugged his shoulders, feeling like the most pathetic person in the world. His legs started to wobble in exhaustion. He couldn’t even stay standing. Spots started to form in front of his eyes. When did he feel so lightheaded? Knees buckling, he fell to the ground, hardly even making an effort to get up.

_ But I need them. _

His world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i'm actually almost finishing a fic wowzers

Jeremy wanted to run away.

Again.

Which was, quite honestly, a natural reaction for someone who had just woke up in a house they had never been in before and had absolutely no memory of arriving in.

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was some… kid about his age sitting on the ground next to whoever’s bed he was lying on. Jeremy was pretty sure he was close to his age, at least, though he was much shorter than he was. He had messy, dirty blonde hair and wore glasses. He watching him, concerned, as if he was going to die any second or something. 

Before Jeremy could scream, cry, jump out the window or threaten to call the police the boy practically lit up with excitement when he noticed he was awake. It was kind of adorable.

“You’re awake!” he whispered.

“Uh. Y-yeah. I am…” Jeremy mumbled, still a bit drowsy. “Where the hell am I? Who  _ are  _ you?”

Any light in the boy’s eyes disappeared. He looked crushed, though he tried his best to hide it. Jeremy almost felt guilty for that response. “You… don’t know who I am? At all?” he asked, dropping his gaze. “Well, of course you don’t. Should’ve known…” he muttered under his breath. Something was off about his voice, Jeremy couldn’t put his finger on it.

“...No?” Jeremy studied him for a moment, attempted to trigger some sort of memory in order to make this poor guy feel better. “Wait, are you in my english class?”

“No, I’m- we’re in math together. Jerry, right? You’re the kid with the- with the name.” He kept correcting himself, as if he was trying to hide something.

Jeremy winced. Great to know that his awkward last name that appeared every time in roll call was the only defining factor about him to people he didn’t know. “It’s… Jeremy.”

“Jeremy. I’m Rich!” he said, smiling again. “Nice to meet you! Sort of.” Immediately the boy’s face reddened, as if he’d made some horrible mistake. Jeremy suddenly realized why Rich kept correcting himself—he had this painful lisp that he must have been super self-conscious about, because he’d made several attempts to try and hide it.

“Uh. H-hi… Rich?” Jeremy mumbled, still feeling incredibly awkward in this whole situation. He still had no idea why he was here. “Wait, do you have a…?”

“Heyyy, you’re probably wondering why you’re here!” Rich interrupted him, and it was obvious he was desperate to change the subject to something that was not his lisp. “Um, s- I was basic- pretty much kinda looking out the window when I saw you running down the street like… someone was chasing you? Also you were crying. And I thought you looked kinda familiar, so I kept watching and then suddenly you just... c-conked out on the ground,” he explained, obviously a bit uncomfortable as he kept fidgeting with his clothing. After a couple corrections he just gave up trying to hide the lisp completely and let his words tumble out in an excited mess, as if he’d never had the chance to really talk to someone like this before. “You don’t have to tell me why you were running, I-I’ve been there too, but I couldn’t really just let you lie there? So here you are. Oh, do you want some water or something? Probably should, y’know, prevent that from happening again.”

Jeremy nodded, his face flushing with embarrassment. Stupid. Here he was, being rescued again. This time by someone he barely knew! 

Rich smiled nervously. “Okay. Um. I’ll be back to get you some water—don’t go a-anywhere, please. My dad… uh, my family doesn’t really know you’re here and I want to keep it that way. Th-they’re uh… you wouldn’t want to meet them.”

Jeremy just gave him a confused look but complied as Rich left, gently closing the door behind him as if he was trying to make as little noise as possible. This was really weird. Why did he have to hide him from his dad? Jeremy didn’t really seem to care, he didn’t understand why he didn’t want to meet Rich’s family for some reason.

This felt like another great opportunity for Jeremy to just up and leave, but for once he felt too tired to really do anything. Besides, Rich would probably freak out if he left anyway. Might be good to get to know this guy.

He sat and waited, quietly observing Rich’s room. It was pretty messy, not unlike Jeremy’s own room, with a couple of papers and various snack wrappers everywhere. His walls were covered with nerdy videogame posters that he very much appreciated. They’d have to talk about that sometime.

This was taking an awfully long time. Was it that hard to get water? Jeremy shouldn’t judge, Rich sure was acting weird about his father earlier, but it was a little concerning.

Finally Rich returned with the promised water in hand, tossing the bottle to him as he closed the door. It was sort of warm, but it was water. Jeremy took it gratefully.

“Here. Also, I got you a granola bar, in case you might be hungry,” he said quietly, tossing him that too. “Sorry. I meant to get you more but we don’t have a lot of food in the house.”

Jeremy felt a pang of guilt. This kid was sacrificing too much for him. “I-I don’t need that, it’s okay.”

Rich smiled a bit. “Hey, I’m not the one fainting around here. I’m not an expert or anything, but I can at least try to be a good host and keep you from dying again in my house. It’s literally just a granola bar—just take it.”

This kept fucking happening. Jeremy didn’t feel like he deserved nearly all of this care from others. First Michael, now Rich. When would people just realize that he was undesirable and stop doing this? They could be doing much more important things than helping this complete mess of a human being.

Jeremy slowly uncapped the water bottle.

“...Are you okay?” Rich asked, tilting his head in concern. “You look… really sad,” he remarked, as if he was trying to think of what to say. Jeremy was aware that he looked like a lot of other things. He felt completely gross, for one thing. He was wearing his clothes from yesterday that he’d slept in and ran in, twice.

“I’m fine,” Jeremy whispered, taking a sip of water. Why didn’t he leave when he got the chance? “I should probably get going.”

“Are you gonna run away again?” Rich suddenly blurted.

Fuck. “Wh-why do you think I’m gonna run away?”

Rich looked away uncomfortably. “I don’t know, I… I guess I could kind of tell. Or that was my reasoning for why you were running.” Then, almost as if he was almost ashamed to say it, he mumbled, “I guess I just… k-kinda empathized with you?”

Jeremy stared at him in confusion. “Why?”

“Hey, I didn’t really try to pry. You don’t have to tell me why you were running, I don’t have to tell you why I… empathized with you.” He sounded stern, but there was a fearful edge to his voice.

Jeremy had no idea where this came from. Maybe he was just curious about what was going on with Rich, maybe he was finally glad that  _ someone  _ understood how he felt, someone he felt more comfortable talking to with less of the self-loathing.

“If I tell you why I was running, will you tell me why you empathized with me?”

Rich was silent for a long time. His face had hardened into an almost expressionless mask, and it terrified Jeremy. He hadn’t known Rich for very long at all, but he didn’t like this look on him considering how happy he’d been before.

“No.”

Jeremy felt like he was going to cry again for some reason. All because Rich wouldn’t agree with him? He felt pathetic, he shouldn’t have tried to make him say something he didn’t want to. 

He really just wanted to leave.

“I-I’m sorry, I-”

“I think I said too much—god, I’m such an idiot, I never get to talk to anyone anymore so I guess I’m just going insane—just think of it like this: My family is shitty, alright? And sometimes I want to run away so fucking badly I just can’t  _ stand  _ it but every time I just come back. Because I can’t stay away long, or my dad will get upset and I really can’t survive without them.” He laughed darkly. “I’m just so fucking pathetic! I wish I didn’t need Dad and Matthew so much but I do, I’ve had to fend for myself for so long but not  _ completely,  _ in the end my dad has the shelter and my dad has the money and my dad has the shitty amount of food that he leaves in the fridge for us.” Any sign of this excited, insecure little boy was gone and what was left of him was a sobbing, angry mess of a teenager who had to grow up too fast.

Jeremy almost wanted to give him a hug, but he was afraid he’d slap him away or something.

Rich chuckled softly. “I guess I just kind of gave away my whole life story anyway, huh?” he whispered through tears.

Jeremy looked down. “Yeah, I guess.”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Rich sniffling quietly next to him. Jeremy felt like the lowest person in the world. He’d pressured this poor boy to share more than he wanted to, and in all honesty he felt like his problems were insignificant compared to his. There were still so many things he didn’t know about Rich, like why he hated his dad so much, or why it took him so long to just get a bottle of water. He really felt like he had to cheer him up somehow.

“I-I ran away because my parents were fighting last night,” Jeremy mumbled. Jesus, this was going to be fun. “They were t-talking about me, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand it anymore. My mom wants all these things from me, like I’m never g-good enough for her, and it just pissed my dad off for some reason. But it shouldn’t, ‘cause… I should be the person my mom wants. But I’m not. I caused all of it. I don’t think they deserve me… if I weren’t here I bet they’d get along fine.”

Rich was glancing at him at the corner of his eye, just barely nodding. Something about his presence made him feel just slightly relieved. It felt good to be heard.

“And then… and then I just kept running, and-and I bumped into my friend Michael.” His eyes filled with tears. “He… really c-cares about me, but I just… I just don’t want him to worry. He looked so concerned, and I didn’t want him to be… he tried to make me s-stay but in the morning I just left. I couldn’t bear to be around him.”

Jeremy huffed softly. “And… now I’m h-here. I just can’t fucking take care of myself, huh.” He decided to leave the part out about Michael following him. Rich didn’t have to know about how much of a psychopath he was.

“Does she care about you?” Rich mumbled. It almost sounded like there was a slightly annoyed edge to his voice, something that scared Jeremy a little bit.

“What?”

“Your mom. Does she care about you?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I guess. I think she’d care about me more if I was a better son to her,” he grumbled.

“I bet she’s probably really worried that you’re gone.”

“She’s better off without me. She’ll want a better son.”

Now Rich was looking at him in the eye. “What about Michael?”

“What about him?”

“You just said he really cares about you. Do you want him to worry?”

Jeremy sighed. “No, I don’t, not at all. But he shouldn’t have to deal with me.”

“At least he cares about you, Jeremy, you should want that!” Rich cried, grabbing Jeremy. His expression was scrunched up in a mixture of anger and distress, and something else—yearning. “Your mom, your dad, Michael—they all care about you! They’re all probably so worried about where you are! M-my family, they hardly notice when I leave! My dad just gets upset when he misses beating the shit out of me! I don’t have anyone who cares about me!”

When he saw Jeremy’s terrified expression Rich must have realized what he’d done, because he lowered his voice and leaned back, shock etched across his face. That was the most he’d ever raised his voice since Jeremy had met him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with Jeremy once again. “It’s just, I… I really envy you, man. I understand why you did this, but I can’t just watch you run away from everyone you love. For once, they actually love you back.”

Jeremy nodded.

“Go home, Jeremy. Even if it’s not for your family… please. Go home. Go home for me.”

He nodded again and stood up, an odd, light, relieved feeling in his chest, like he’d finally been set free.

“Okay.”

Rich smiled, wiping his eyes. “Oh, and maybe go out through the window—I can’t have Dad seeing you.”

“Okay,” Jeremy whispered again, gradually opening Rich’s bedroom window and—thank god—he lived in a one-story house, so he could just hop right out.

“Oh, and Rich?” he asked, before stepping outside.

“Yeah?”

“I care about you.”

And with that, he left, beginning his journey back home. And this time, he walked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love rich  
> this fic is almost (but not completely) done!! i'm so excited to be finished, it was fun writing this little fic. thanks for reading so far


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